Q&A with the flock
by Tagalong
Summary: What if the rest of the flock answered the questions at the end of 'Fang? Takes place somewhere before 'Fang'. No major spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I'm not giving up on Secrets Told. I got a new computer, and I haven't transferred my old files to it yet. This is my first Maximum Ride story. It takes place sometime before 'Fang'.**

**DISCLAIMER: I COPIED SOME OF THIS FROM THE BOOK. I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE AND I'M NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OFF OF THIS.**

"Yo, Max. Look at this," said Fang. He was reading his blog. Honestly, does he do anything else?

"Coming," I muttered. Running for our lives and all he could think about was his blog? I mean, I like the guy and all, but his computer obsession is a little annoying. "What is it?" I asked, after making sure Fang hadn't woken up the rest of the flock.

"Look at this girl's comment," he said. I looked at the laptop and saw this comment:

From Jess:

FANG.

I've commented on your blog with my questions for THREE YEARS.

You answer other people's STUPID questions but not MINE.

YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY. I'm just gonna keep commenting

until you answer at least one of my questions.

I looked up at Fang.

"Someone's mad," I said.

"You have no idea," he responded.

"You gonna answer her?" I asked, smirking. I liked this girl's style.

"I already have. Look." I looked at the six and a half pages of questions.

"She asked 'Boxers or briefs'?!" I exclaimed. Fang blushed, yes folks you read that right, Fang actually blushed.

"That's not what I wanted to show you," said Fang quickly. "After I answered she sent a list of questions for each member of the flock. Do you want to answer first?" I snatched the laptop from him and began to read the questions.

"I'll answer them, but the younger kids can't. They might give away too much. DoNOT let Nudge on here under any circumstances," I said. "Now go to sleep. It's my turn for watch duty." Fang mock saluted me and went to find a comfortable tree somewhere nearby.

Alright, question 1…

DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT?

Why would you even ask that?

'This isn't so hard' I thought.

DO YOU MOLT?

No.

WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN?

Don't know, don't care.

DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS?

I don't use a HAIRBRUSH. Do you THINK I use product!?

DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR FEATHERS?

I wouldn't even if they existed.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?  
I'm busy with, like, saving the world and stuff, so I don't really watch movies.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG?

That Mission Impossible one.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?

My mom's chocolate chip cookies.

DO THESE QUESTIONS ANNOY YOU?

A little.

IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND HUGGED YOU,

WOULD YOU KILL ME?

Yes.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

My mom's chocolate chip cookies, they don't just smell good.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?

A granola bar.

DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?

I already answered that.

DO YOU LIKE FANG?

No comment.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

A dirty T-shirt, jeans and shoes.

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES?

Sometimes.

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT?

No, that's stupid.

DO YOU PERFER BLONDS OR BRUNETTES?

I prefer anyone who isn't out to kill me.

DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES?

Vampires. Werewolves are too much like Erasers.

DO YOU LIKE EGGS?

Yes.

DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS?

Yes. Especially cookies.

DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB?

No. He's annoying.

CAN YOU COOK?

Not according to the flock.

DO YOU LIKE TO COOK?

Not really.

DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA?

Did you run out of questions?

WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER?

Fang taught me.

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?

Yes.

DID YOU ENJOY THESE QUESTIONS?

It gave me something to do.

-Max

Wow this person is nosy. I looked around and realized I'd been typing all night. Now I understood why Fang was on his blog all the time. Now to hide the laptop before anyone else sees the questions.

"Hi Max! Whatcha doin'?" And …..I'm busted.

"Hey, Gazzy. I'm just answering some questions on Fang's blog," I replied casually.

"Can I see?" he asked.

"No," I said. Gazzy pouted and gave me the puppy dog eyes. "Fine! You can! Just don't type anything," I hate puppy dog eyes. "And DON'Tshow this to Nudge," I said, regaining some of my leaderly image. I handed him the computer and walked towards the rest of the flock. Someone had to wake them up.

Gazzy looked at the questions Max had been answering, and noticed that there was also a file for him. He looked around, and when he didn't see anyone coming for him he clicked on it. He would have fun answering these on his next guard duty.

**A/N Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Chapter 2! Wow... that was my fastest update ever. Enjoy!**

After a day of aimlessly flying around Montana, I decided that we needed a destination. We hadn't visited Ella and my mom for a while, so I decided that would be where we'd stop next.

"Max, is there a point to this or are we just flying?" asked Iggy.

"We're going to my mom's," I replied. "We'll stop for the night, and start towards her house in the morning." I spotted a nice looking forest that would provide us with cover overnight. "Guys, we're landing here," I announced. We all angled down towards the forest and landed in a clearing. We spread out to do our routine surveillance we always do in a new area. When we didn't see anything that struck us as particularly evil, we collected firewood so Iggy could cook us dinner.

"Roasted squirrel, anyone?" said Iggy. We all cheered! We had been flying all day and lunch seemed eons ago. After we dug in, we hung out by the fire. Soon it was late enough that I sent the younger flock members to bed. Well, all but Gazzy, it was his turn for guard duty.

"Can I borrow Fang's laptop?" asked Gazzy.

"Sure," I replied, completely forgetting about the questions that 'Jess' had sent.

"Great! Thanks, Max!" Gazzy exclaimed. "'Night." I was a little suspicious of how quickly he wanted to get rid of me, but I shrugged it off as my normal paranoia and walked away to get some sleep.

Great… Max was gone. Now Gazzy could answer the questions 'Jess' had submitted for him uninterrupted.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?

Answering your questions. Oh, and breathing.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?

Anything with lots of explosions.

HOW HEAVY WAS THE BIGGEST BOMB YOU EVER BUILT?

I dunno, maybe twenty pounds?

WHEN DID YOU BUILD YOUR FIRST BOMB?

I was six.

WHAT WAS THE BEST PRANK YOU EVER PULLED ON SOMEONE?

It was sorta a two-part prank. First I dyed Max's hair neon pink while she was sleeping. She was really mad. Then I imitated Angel and told Max I read Fang's mind and that he was the one who did it. She chased him around the house and when she caught him she threw him out the window. It was really funny.

WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Iggy… duh.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Burritos. Max won't let me eat them though. You know, the gas thing …..

WHEN DID YOU FIGHT YOUR FIRST ERASER?

When I was still at the School.

DO YOU ENJOY BLOWING THINGS UP?

Yes. I really, really do.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT?

I didn't really like school, but science was fun. I accidently set the teacher's beard on fire. Good times…

ARE YOU GOOD AT PING PONG?

Yes. I am the flock champion.

CAN YOU EVEN PLAY PING PONG?

See above.

DO YOU LIKE DISNEY MOVIES?

Not really.

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ANYONE?

Ewww! I'm only eight! No!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RESTURAUNT?

I like all-you-can-eat buffets. They mean it… well sort of. I once ate like, thirty plates before they kicked us out.

HAVE YOU MADE ANY FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF THE FLOCK?

No, not really.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?

No, but I'd like to learn. It seems AWESOME!

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO FLY?

Max.

DO YOU WISH YOU WERE A WIZARD?

I guess. I kinda like being a bird-kid though.

DID YOU LIKE ANSWERING THESE?

Yeah, it was fun!

_GAZZY_

Gazzy looked at his finished work. He thought the girl who wrote them was a little crazy, but they were really fun to answer. His shift on watch duty was over, so he went to wake Iggy up.

"Iggy! Iggy! Wake up!" Gazzy hissed, shaking his friend.

"Is it my turn already?" Iggy muttered, sitting up.

"Yeah, But I have something fun for you to do while you're up," Gazzy replied. The two boys walked over to Fang's laptop, and Gazzy read 'Jess's' note to him.

"And what does this have to do with me?" asked Iggy.

"She sent all of us a list of questions. DO you wanna do yours now?"

"Not like I have anything better to do," said Iggy.

"Great! Question one…"

ARE YOU REALLY BLIND?

Yes. Do you really care?

WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO MAKE BOMBS?

I figured it out by myself… well with a little help from the T.V.

DO YOU LIKE TACOS?

I like all food. I make awesome tacos.

ARE YOU JEALOUS OF ANGEL'S POWERS?

No, she can't cook or make bombs. I'm cooler.

WHEN'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?

Sometime 15 years ago.

WHO'S TYPING THIS FOR YOU?

I'm typing for myself. Do you really think I can't type? Gazzy's reading the questions.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

I like fall. There's lots of ripe stuff to pick while we're out flying. It's really fun to fly above trees and grab apples. Then throw the cores at nasty old people… They never see it coming…

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A FOOD FIGHT?

No. Whenever I try to start one Max puts me in a headlock.

CAN YOU SWIM?

All of us can swim.

OCEAN OR POOL?

Ocean. It's bigger.

RIVER OR LAKE?

Are you in a summery mood? Lake.

DO YOU LIKE TO SLEEP?

Doesn't everyone?

ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU HAVE FANGIRLS?

I do?! Yesss!

HAVE YOU EVER GONE TRICK-OR-TREATING?

No, but I've stolen Halloween candy. Does that count?

CATS OR DOGS?

Dogs…duh.

DO YOU LIKE THE BEATLES?

Aren't they bugs?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO COOK?

Brownies. They are sweet and delicious.

DO YOU LIKE PLAY-DOH?

Uhh, not anymore. I'm way too old for it.

DO YOU LIKE PUZZLES?

No. They take way too long to put together.

CAN YOU EVEN DO PUZZLES?

See above.

ARE YOU AWESOME?

Yes. Very, very awesome.

**Iggy**

"Well, that was interesting," said Iggy.

"Wow! That took all night!" said Gazzy. Panic flashed across his face. "Quick! X out of the blog before Max wakes up! We weren't supposed to answer those questions." Iggy quickly shut the laptop, and the two guys began to act casual. They were just in time, because just then Max walked up and said "Morning guys. Iggy, can you start cooking? I'm starving," Iggy ran off to start on breakfast. Glad that he could avoid the fire that Gazzy was sure to get for disobeying Max.

After I told Iggy to start cooking, I looked at Gazzy. He was fidgeting nervously, like he had something to hide.

"What are you so nervous about?" I asked.

"Nothing," replied Gazzy. "Just hungry."

"Oh, okay," I replied.

No one noticed Angel was lurking behind a tree nearby. She had heard every word of Max and Gazzy's conversation… and the thoughts that went along with it. She was going to answer the questions like everyone else. She might even tell Nudge. She would have a LOT of fun on her next guard duty…

**A/N Done! Nudge and Angel are next. Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Sooo... this took longer than I thought it would. Sorry. To make up for it this chapter is super long (a little over five pages on Word). I don't really like Angel, so she took a couple days to write. I really love Nudge, and I didn't want to do a bad job on her; hence the wait. I got some very interesting reviews last chapter, so I'm going to try something new and respond to them. Here we go...**

**Adalyn333~ I'm glad you like it. I'm an Iggy fangirl too. :D**

**Guest~ Okay... here's lots more!**

**Jazzeegirl~ I'm glad I could make you smile. Hope you like this chapter too.**

**Phoebestar989~ Thanks for the inspiration. I put a llama reference in this chapter in honor of you.**

**HopelessAddictToWriting~ Yes. Lots and lots of dialogue. I love your new name!**

**white-feather-silver-wind~ Thanks to you I will now call anyone who puts me on alert a story stalker. Thanks for reviewing!:)**

**By the way. This chapter has VERY minor spoilers for the Hunger Games. Now that that's out of the way... it's story time!**

We were only a couple of miles away from my mom's house. We- well Fang, Iggy, and I- could have made it in just a few hours, but the younger kids looked beat. "Alright guys, we're gonna stop for the night, look for a good place to land," I announced. There was no mistaking the looks of gratitude on Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel's faces, even though they tried to hide it.

"Max! I see a hotel! Can we please, please, please stop there? We haven't had showers in a few weeks, and I feel filthy. Plus, they might have room service! Iggy's cooking is great and all, but I really, really, really want a cheeseburger. Ooh, ooh, and a milkshake. I really like chocolate… and strawberry. Can I have TWO milkshakes? And I-"

"NUDGE!" I interrupted, " Stop talking. We can go to the hotel. We can also take showers. I don't know about everything else." She looked a little annoyed that I had interrupted her monolog, but I ignored it. Right now, silence was more important to me than her feelings. "Land in this alley," I said. We all landed, and tucked our wings into our jackets. When we looked normal enough, we walked out onto the street in front of the hotel. We walked in, and checked in. The manager gave us a funny look, but gave us a room anyway. It's not like he had people busting down the doors to get a room. Let me put it this way: if a travel agency looked at this place, they would run away screaming. It beat staying in the woods though.

When we got to our room, we all looked around. The guy had totally overpriced this room. It had one ratty bed and a moldy armchair. The bathroom was about the size of a postage stamp. There were about two feet between the door and the shower. Despite the overall disgustingness of the room, I knew that the flock's cleanliness was more important- especially since we were going to my mom's. "Alright guys, hit the shower. Angel, you go first," I ordered. She smiled sweetly at me, and went to go wash all of the dirt and sweat off of her. While she was showering, the rest of the flock planned sleeping arrangements. We decided the fairest way to decided who got the bet was a friendly arm wrestling match. We normally gave the bed to the Angel or Nudge, but after sleeping in trees for a month, we all wanted something softer than the floor. The winner would get the bed and second place would win the chair. When Angel came out of the bathroom, we took our positions for the tournament. Gazzy vs Angel, Nudge vs Iggy, and me vs Fang. After ten minutes of intense arm wrestling, the winners were Angel, Iggy, and I. We then arm-wrestled each other until Angel and I were the only two left. Angel beat me in a matter of seconds, but it wasn't a fair win. She was in my head, and told me to lose. I wasn't happy, but I hadn't said 'no powers', so she didn't technically break any rules.

After everyone else had showered, we all flopped down on our designated sleeping spots; me on the chair, Angel in the bed, and the other members on the threadbare carpet. Then we started to sleep. We were leaving at six the next morning, so we wanted to maximize (no pun intended) our sleep.

...

After she was sure Max and Fang were asleep, Angel crept out of bed to go get Fang's laptop so that she could look at the file titled: Angel's questions. After another quick check to make sure everyone else was still asleep, she opened the file and started to type.

ARE THERE ANY GAMES THAT YOU CAN'T CHEAT AT?

I do NOT cheat, but to answer your question, it's really hard for me to cheat at Clue and computer games.

DO YOU WANT TO RULE THE WORLD?

Yes. I would be an excellent ruler.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

To rule the world. I already said that.

DO YOU WANT TO FIND YOUR PARENTS?

No. I already know who they are. They are not nice people.

DO YOU LIKE PONIES?

Not really. I don't like a lot of things girls my age like.

WHO DO YOU LIKE BETTER: TOTAL OR CELESTE?

I prefer Total. He's alive, warm, and cuddly. Also, he would destroy me if I said something different.

DO YOU LIKE LOLLIPOPS?

Yes. Bubblegum is the best flavor.

DO YOU HAVE A BEDTIME?

Only when I'm at Dr. Martinez's house. Even then it's iffy.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?

I think gymnastics is cool.

WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?

What makes you think I'm scared of anything? I'm pretty sure Max would be super mad if I told you… so no comment.

DO YOU LIKE NINJAS?

That was a really weird question. No, I don't.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY SMART, OR DO YOU JUST READ THE MINDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO QUIZ YOU?

I think that question is offensive. I'm a lot smarter than most six-year-olds. Reading minds does help though.

DO YOU CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS?

We give each other presents but we're usually on the run, so we don't get a tree or anything.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA?

No. I didn't even know who the guy was until I was four.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE?

No. I'm pretty sure Max does. I'll make her teach me when I'm done answering these.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

Who's there?

DUCKS SAY.

Ducks say who?

DUCKS SAY QUACK… I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE SMART .

You're very funny… NOT.

ARE YOU TIRED OF ME YET?

A little.

AM I BORING?

Yes.

Angel

Angel had no idea why Iggy and Gazzy thought these questions were so fun. It was an enormous waste of time, and a huge risk of getting on Max's bad side. Although Angel thought the Q&A was kind of stupid, she felt a little bad that Nudge was the only one who hadn't had a chance to answer hers. She went to go wake the other girl.

"Nudge! Nudge!" Angel hissed quietly. "Wake up! I have something to show you." Nudge stirred, but she was just turning over in her sleep. It was well known to the flock that Nudge was the deepest sleeper they had. This was a fact that irritated Angel, because she was trying to give Nudge something fun to do. Angel decided to try one more time to wake Nudge up before she would just go and get some needed rest. She thought about what would wake the older girl up, and came up with a plan.

"Nudge! Bacon!" Angel's words had the desired effect on Nudge.

"What? Bacon!? Where!?" she said, waking up with a start.

"There's no bacon," replied Angel. "I just needed to wake you up. Now shh! We don't want to wake everyone else." She silently motioned for Nudge to follow her. Angel pointed at Fang's laptop, where she had pulled up the questions titled 'For Nudge'. She then promptly went to bed, if Nudge couldn't figure out what to do from there, Angel wasn't going to spell it out for her. She was tired.

…...

Nudge looked at the questions curiously, she didn't know who the Jess girl was, but Angel wanted her to answer them, so she did just that.

C N Y0U R3 D TH1S?

Yes! I really love texting! I love how people can use symbols instead of letters! It's soooo cool! I really wish I had a phone Max won't let me have one because she thinks that the whitecoats can track us with them. She's really paranoid. I guess she has a good reason, you know, with them sending Erasers after us and stuff.

DO YOU LIKE TO TALK AS MUCH AS FANG SAYS YOU DO?

Yes. Talking's really fun. It's how humans communicate! Communication is really important. No one can read minds (well, except for Angel), so you have to talk! Talking's also a good way to express feelings! That's important too! If Fang says I'm annoying, I really don't think I am. I'm just expressing a human need!

DO YOU LIKE LLAMAS?

Yes. Especially mini llamas. They're sooo cute! They're like fuzzy horses or something! Even though they spit, it's only at each other. Sometimes I wish I was part llama. Then I could spit at Iggy and Gazzy whenever they pull pranks on me and wouldn't even get in trouble 'cause that's what llamas do! Llamas are so lucky.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?

I like pi. Pi goes on forever! You could spend days and days saying nothing but pi numbers! I also really like the name. It reminds me of pie! Pie tastes really good… Back on subject, pi is the best number ever! 3.14159265395…

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

I like that kind that has three flavors in one. Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry: it doesn't get boring! Like, if you get tired of chocolate you can just switch to strawberry! It's genius in ice cream!

DO YOU LIKE PUPPIES?

Of course I like puppies. Are there people who don't? These people have no souls! Puppies are adorable! I guess you could be allergic to them. Those people's lives must be soooo sad! No puppies? That's just awful!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?

Is cheerleading a sport? If it is, then cheerleading! They get to wear cool clothes and hang out with football players. They also get to call out cheers! They can talk through the whole game, and no one tells them to be quiet! They also get thrown up in the air and do jumps and kicks and stuff. Cheerleaders are really cool.

WHAT TEAM WOULD YOU JOIN IF YOU WENT TO SCHOOL?

I already said cheerleading, so other than that, I might join Debate. It's a team where you get to talk and argue, so I'd probably by good at it. Have you noticed how many things there are to do that involve talking? I have no idea why the flock is annoyed by it. If there are so many things where talking is encouraged, then it must be a good thing, right? Anyway, I'd join debate 'cause it's a talking club.

WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE KEYBOARD SMILEY-FACE? (YOU KNOW, LIKE OR )

Ooh, ooh, that's a really good question. Um… I like ':P'. It's a tongue sticking out! It looks really cool. That's how I feel whenever Gazzy and Iggy tease me. I just go :P at them. It's a great way to tell people on the Internet you're annoyed at them. Or that you're teasing them. :P :P :P :P

CRAYOLA OR ROSE ART?

Uhhh… Crayola. I'm not a great artist, but Crayola sounds better for some reason. It kinda rolls off the tongue. Crayola, Crayola, Crayola! It's really fun to say!

PIXIES OR FAIRIES?

Pixies. They're so little and cute! How can you not like them? They live in, like, flowers! That's so cool! I'd love to live in a flower… it'd be really hard for the Erasers to find us. Can you imagine the Erasers picking flowers trying to find us! It'd be soooo funny.

PIRATES OR NINJAS?

Ninjas! Pirates are too sloppy and rude. Ninjas are polite. If a pirate killed you they would be loud and annoying. Ninjas are silent assassins. You wouldn't even see it coming! Pirates would be easier to fight though. The only flaw that ninjas have is that they're too quiet. I would hate having to be as quiet as a ninja. I'd probably die or something.

DO YOU LIKE TO READ?

Yes. In my spare time I read lots! I like romances with lots of action! I also like mysteries. They're… mysterious. Sorry, I couldn't think of a better word. I also like to read textbooks. I really love learning. I wish I could go to school, but Max really doesn't like school.

TEAM GALE OR TEAM PEETA?

In the Hunger Games? Team Peeta. Peeta's soo sweet, and can bake! He's also a good artist. He isn't as strong as Gale, but he won't fight as much with Katniss. Also, Peeta won the Hunger Games! Did Gale do that? NO! That mean's Peeta's better. :P

DO YOU ENJOY BEING RANDOM?

Yes! I really, really, do. Ducks! Bunnies! Easter! Ooh, that makes me think of candy… I really love candy. And rainbows… Ooh, ooh, and Leprechauns. And money! Exclamation points!

DO YOU LIKE TWILIGHT?

I don't know. Max won't let me read them. She thinks they're stupid. I think she just doesn't like romacey stuff. I really don't have an opinion 'cause I haven't read them.

WHAT'S YOUR FATAL FLAW?

I'm soooo sorry. I can't answer that. Max is already going to kill me for answering these, and giving out my fatal flaw will make her kill me, turn me into a zombie, and then kill me again! Sorry!

MONKEY!

Was that a question?

DO YOU HAVE A PLAN FOR THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?

Yeah. I don't think it's really gonna happen, but the plan was fun to come up with. Zombies can't fly, so I'm just gonna fly around shooting them. I need to research them more… I don't know as much about zombies as I thought I did. Bye!

_Nudge!_

Nudge had a great time answering that Jess girl's questions. Now to get some sleep before the flock had to get going to Dr. Martinez's house…

**A/N For the record: TEAM GALE ALL THE WAY! Halfway through this chapter I realized that i haven't mentioned Total at all. Just assume that he was visiting Akila and that he's waiting for them at Dr. Martinez's house. Sorry about that. Total's next! Please review, and out of curiosity... Team Gale or Team Peeta?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Chapter 4! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or story stalked this! Now for the responses to my amazing ****reviewers:**

**MaximumRideFanFiction~ Yay! Another Team Gale! Yeah, I hate her too, you're not alone... Thanks for reviewing.**

**VampiresExplodeInLight~ Actually, I thought _I_ was the only one! Glad to know I'm not alone.**

**Adalyn333~ Wow... that is all I have to say about those girls. They are amazing! Here's your update.**

**Phoebstar989~ Thanks for the info on pi, at some point I'll go back and fix it. Good choice on being Team Gale;) I'm glad I made your day. No llamas in this chapter, but there is a dramatic dog!**

**Internet cake to Adalyn333 and Phoebstar989 for reviewing on two chapters! Thanks guys!**

**It should be noted that I got the idea that Iggy and Gazzy like Mario Kart from a MR fic I read. I'm too lazy to go through everything I've ever read to find out who wrote it, but know that it's not my idea. If anyone knows who originally came up with that, please tell me so that I can give them credit. **

**THERE'S AN IMPORTANT A/N AT THE END OF THIS! DON'T SKIP IT! **

The next morning, I was the first one up. It was a bit earlier than I had planned to wake, but for some reason I couldn't fall back asleep. I looked around at the flock; they were so cute when the were asleep… in a totally macho way of course. I knew that I only had minutes before someone else would awake, and we would have to get going to my mom's. I was determined to enjoy these first minutes of the day when I was the only one up. I heard Fang's laptop chime; signifying he had a new e-mail. I silently walked over to the laptop and clicked on his inbox. He had gotten another comment from 'Jess'. Just so you know, I DO have morals, and I DO know that it's wrong to look at other people's mail. In this case, however, I just chose to ignore morals, rules, and the like. I was curious. Anyway, I looked at it; expecting something similar to what Fang had shown me a few nights earlier, but I saw something completely different.

From: Jess

Thanks for answering the questions guys! I almost forgot about Total. Here's the link for his questions:

I honestly didn't think you'd answer them. Thanks again!

-Jess

I wish I could've told you I handled that piece of news calmly. That I waited until everyone else had woken up and put them in a time out or something. Unfortunately for the rest of the flock, I'm not that kind of person.

"WAKE UP!" I shouted. "ALL OF YOU HAVE A _LOT_ OF EXPLAINING TO DO." The culprits awoke and sat straight up. Well, all but Angel. She knew that whatever punishment I could hand out, she could easily mind-control me to 'forget' to punish her. She and I both knew it. I'd just have to figure out different consequences for her. Gazzy tried to cover up for himself.

"What did I do?" he asked innocently. I shot him a death glare. The rest of the flock didn't try anything after that.

"WELL? WHY DID YOU ANSWER THEM?" Angel- curse her cuteness- decided to be spokesperson for the flock.

"We answered them because we thought they would be fun. We didn't give away anything that would jeopardize our safety, and we hadn't done anything truly fun for ages."

I was literally ready to kill her. As you may know, I really hate logic. Especially when it's used to try and make me calm down when I'm angry. Even more so when it makes perfect sense. Logic sucks.

I got an extremely infuriating look from Fang that said, 'I know exactly what you're thinking and Angel's totally gonna win this argument'. Unfortunately I knew he was right; I couldn't argue with her clear logic, and (after quickly looking at everyone else's Q&A) I discovered it to be true that no one really gave away any vital information, so I couldn't be upset about that. I guess what I was most upset about was the fact that a six-year-old outsmarted me.

"Fine," I practically snarled, "Nothing happened when you disobeyed DIRECT ORDERS from me… this time. I do NOT expect you to EVER go behind my back again. Is that understood?" Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel nodded. They seemed to understand that I wasn't in the mood for them to talk to me. Unfortunately for them, I was still mad at them for not listening to me, so I was still going to give out the biggest punishment I could without being called, quote, 'crazy psycho Max'. Before they could relax, I finished my little speech. "There is still a punishment in order for you. You are not allowed to have any cookies the entire time we are at my mom's house." I smirked. I was pleased with my semi-abusive punishment.

"But Maaax-" started Gazzy.

"No buts. You knew I would be mad when I found out what you did. This is technically all your fault." He pouted, but obviously didn't want to risk me exploding again, so he shut up. Changing topics, I said, "Alright people. Everyone got enough beauty sleep? Good. Lets blow this joint." Three seconds later I realized I should have used a different term for 'let's leave', but it was too late. In the space of THREE SECONDS, Gazzy and Iggy had blown up the entire dingy hotel. Cue angry manager in 3…2…1.

"WHAT THE-" We were gone before the guy had even finished his sentence. Once we had put a considerable distance between ourselves and the ruined hotel. I began to yell at the two little pyros who- unless someone stopped me- were about to become two DEAD little pyros.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?" I exploded.

"You said, and I quote, to, 'blow this joint'. We were only-" Iggy tried to explain.

"Do NOT finish that statement. Were we in any immediate danger? No! Was there any reason for you do completely demolish that guy's motel? No! There is absolutely NO reason you should have to escape whatever punishment I think up." I would have said more, but we were making good time, and before I could finish we had arrived at the woods near my mom's house. After we landed, I shot Gazzy and Iggy a look that said we weren't done with this conversation. It was, of course, wasted on Iggy. I remedied that particular situation by giving him a good old-fashioned smack on the arm. As soon as we looked 100% human, we began to walk to cookie heaven (a.k.a. my mom's house).

We arrived in a matter of minutes. I walked up to the front door, and rang the doorbell. I heard loud barking coming from behind the door. Apparently, even with all of the advancements the whitecoats had added to Total, they had forgotten to remove the urge that all dogs naturally have to bark at the doorbell.

"Shut it Total," I yelled through the door. "It's just us." The barking ceased.

"Oh, hi guys. Dr. Martinez ran to the store, and Ella's still at school. I, rather unfortunately, do not have thumbs. I can't let you in. You'll have to wait outside until they arrive home," he replied.

I rolled my eyes, and quietly instructed Iggy to pick the lock. In a few seconds, breaking a personal record for him, he had picked the lock and we were in.

"You people have absolutely no manners do you?" remarked Total. "Most people would just WAIT PATIENTLY OUTSIDE until their hosts arrived."

"And most dogs don't talk," I replied.

We then made our way into my mom's living room to wait for her to come home. Fang and I flopped down on the couch, Gazzy and Iggy fired up the Wii to have a Mario Kart battle, and Nudge and Angel ran to the kitchen to see if there were any cookies to munch on. I, being the amazing leader I am, decided to burst their bubble.

"Ahem," I said. "YOU are still on cookie probation." The girls pouted, but they appeared to understand that I was in a better mood than I had been in all day, and didn't' want to ruin it.

"Hey Total," said Fang. "Do you know what Dr. Martinez's Wi-Fi password is?" Total gave the dog equivalent of a shrug. Fang sighed. "Nudge?"

"Yeah, Fang?" she replied.

"What's Dr. Martinez's Wi-Fi password?"

"Just a sec," she answered. Nudge walked over to my mom's home computer, and laid her hands down on the keyboard. "It's 'mydaughtersoars'. No spaces." Before Fang could thank her, she continued. "Hey Max, it looks like she was talking about you! She must really miss you. She's, like, the best mom ever. You're so lucky. I wonder if-" I ignored the rest of what Nudge was saying. I had a little inner conflict to attend to.

I couldn't decided whether or not to let Total answer his Q&A. On one hand, the rest of the flock had answered with nothing bad happening, so it was only fair for Total to be able to answer them too. On the other hand, in answering the questions the flock had defied my orders. If I let Total answer them with no consequences, It would be unfair to the rest of the flock. As it turned out, I didn't have to make the choice at all. Nudge made it for me.

"Total! You'll never guess what we did while we were gone!"

"You slept in trees and ate roasted squirrel?" guessed Total. He didn't really seem in the mood to talk to Nudge. He was currently enjoying a belly rub courtesy of Angel. Nudge frowned before continuing.

"Yes, but we also answered some fan questions!" This got his attention.

"Wait. You answered FAN MAIL!? Was any of it for me?" Lovely. He was already starting to get an inflated ego about it.

"Yeah! I looked at Fang's blog, and she sent you a list too! You're like, super famous! I wonder if there'll be a movie about us. Ooh! I'm gonna look for an actress that looks like me. I'll be right back!" She ran to my mom's computer, and started up Google, leaving me to deal with a dog with an over-inflated ego.

"I, Total, am famous. I'm about to answer my first fan mail!" he said to himself. "Fang. I need to borrow your laptop. My fans want to hear from me." Fang rolled his eyes, and forked the laptop over to Total. After recruiting Angel to help him type, he started to answer his Q&A.

WHO'S A GOOD BOY?

That question is insulting to my intelligence.

DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY FETCH?

You are a very rude individual. That question is stereotyping. Do you really think just because I'm a dog I enjoy running for a ball just so it can be thrown again? I do not consider it worth my time to play 'fetch'.

DO YOU PREFER CANNED OR DRY DOG FOOD?

I prefer human food. Dog food is disgusting and degrading.

WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE SPOT TO BE PETTED?

Will you stop asking dog-oriented questions!? Although it pains me to admit that I have any doglike preferences, my favorite spot to be petted is on my stomach.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR?

Thank you for moving away from the insulting questions. Although I have a love for many stupendous authors, my favorite of them all is the great William Shakespeare. He has an amazing way with words. Sonnets, plays, what more could a dog ask for?

WHAT WILL YOU AND AKILA NAME YOUR PUPPIES?

I'll have to talk to her about this, but I have a soft spot for the name Viola, from one of Shakespeare's humorous works: Twelfth Night. Other names I'm considering are Beatrice, Emily, Joseph, Cassandra, and Michael.

DO YOU FORGIVE ME FOR THE FIRST FEW QUESTIONS?

Yes. I'm glad you were just joking though.

DO YOU PREFER TO BE WITH THE FLOCK OR AKILA?

That is a very hard question to answer. Family, or true love? I can't answer that. I love being with both.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY?

I love Thanksgiving. It has lots of food, and I really, really, love turkey.

DO YOU EVER WISH YOU HAD THUMBS?

Yes. Thumbs seem like very useful digits. I could do a lot more if I had thumbs. They would look really awkward on my paws though…

Total was interrupted in answering his questions when my mom arrived home.

"Total! I'm home! I'm making tacos tonight!" she shouted from the driveway. Hearing that there were going to be tacos, we all ran to help her carry the groceries inside. That might not have been our best plan. Our abrupt exit from her house with no warning made her scream. I'm not talking about a roller coaster scream, I'm talking about an 'omg-my-daughter-and-her-friends-are-still-alive-and-how-did-they-get-into-my-house-and-I'm-freaking-out' scream. Saying it was loud was an understatement. She dropped the bags she was carrying and enveloped the flock and me in a big group hug that threatened to crush our spines.

"Can't… breathe… glad… to see… you…too," I managed to squeeze out.

"Oh, right," she said, releasing us. To my amusement, she had managed to cut off the oxygen to our brains for long enough that Fang couldn't keep his balance after my mom let us go. He fell flat on his face. Needless to say, we all laughed our heads off. I filed that moment away in my head for future torture material.

"Not. One. Word," growled Fang as he stood up.

"When did you guys get here?" asked my mom, trying to take the attention off of Fang's embarrassment. "And how did you get in the house?"

"We got here about half an hour ago. Iggy picked the lock," I replied. She shot me a look that said, 'really Max?'. I ignored it and ordered the rest of the flock to start carrying in bags.

When all of the groceries were put away, the bus pulled up to drop Ella off from school. I'm not going to go into the details of how she greeted us, because it was pretty similar to how my mother reacted… well, all but the scream. Ella's was much louder and more high-pitched.

"Oh my God! You're here!"

"No, really? I thought we were still flying around the country," remarked Iggy sarcastically. He and Gazzy were a little irritated that their epic Mario Kart battle had been put on hold for conversation with my mom and Ella.

"I missed you too, Iggy," replied Ella, equally sarcastic. My mom had excused herself from our reunion to start cooking tacos. We had been chatting for a few hours when it was time for dinner.

"Hey guys! It's taco time!" my mom shouted from the kitchen. And the tacos were done. In a matter of seconds, Iggy and Gazzy's moods had changed from 'sulky gamer' to 'elated diner'. Of course, I was pretty hungry too, and after only eating what we could find in the forest for a few months, tacos seemed like fine dining to me. We all raced to the dining room. My AMAZING mom had quickly changed her dinner plan, and had made enough tacos to feed even us bird kids. Life was good.

After dinner, we went back out to the living room to hang out. Total and Angel got back onto Fang's laptop and our lovely night came to an end.

"I only got TEN questions!? The rest of you all got TWENTY or MORE! Why did I only get TEN!?" lamented Total. "It's because I'm a dog, isn't it. That blogger is discriminating against me because I'm a dog." Total was devastated. Angel tried to cheer him up.

"It's okay, Total. The questions weren't even that good anyway."

"I suppose," Total sighed. "I'm off to bed so I can wallow in sadness…" He then turned and walked upstairs to the guest bedroom where he was currently staying.

"He is SUCH a drama queen," said Nudge. "I do feel kinda bad for him though. Ooh! We should send out a request on Fang's blog for anyone who wants to ask Total questions to send them in. It could be like a celebrity chat! I've seen lots of them. You just say that there is a live celebrity chat between this time and that, and that people can send in questions for them to answer! Total would love to do that!'

"That's actually a really good idea, Nudge," I said. She swelled with pride. "But don't get a big head about it. Fang, can you set it up?"

"Yeah," he replied. "How about three days from now from 6:00 to 7:30?"

"Sounds great," I said. I couldn't believe we were doing all this just so our dog wouldn't sulk… oh well. My life has been crazier.

**A/N I ****have absolutely no ideas for Total's celebrity chat. If you have anything you'd like to ask him, please put it in your review. I'll put your Pen name as the blogger that sent it. Thanks. Now give me ideas:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Chapter 5! Review time!**

**livvy15274~ Max not liking Spongebob was just my opinion of her. Sorry that you felt differently. I'm glad you still liked the story!**

**Adalyn333~ I'm glad you liked the cake! Thanks for your opinion on Total's POV. I was worried that I had messed it up when I wrote it. But, yay! According to you I did a good job! Thanks!**

**Phoebstar989~I'm glad you liked the password. I got your review in the middle of working on some unpleasant schoolwork, so I really enjoyed it. I tried to keep Max more in character this chapter. Thank you very, very, VERY much for submitting your questions, I wrote much faster after I got your ideas. I also used TheDramaLlama as a minor character in this chapter. I hope that's okay!**

**Hana~ Thanks for reviewing. Even though I disagree with your opinion, I was glad to hear it.**

**Now that that's out of the way... I'm going to give Adalyn333 more internet cake for reviewing on 3 chapters, and a mini internet llama to Phoebstar989 for her (I'm assuming you're a girl) lovely reviews. NOTE: I made Fang's blog a little off canon. I know that the actual bloggers give their names, ages, and countries, but I changed it to usernames. That's just my preference. **

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN JESS OR THEDRAMALLAMA. JESS IS JAMES PATTERSON'S, AND THEDRAMALLAMA IS AN ACTUAL HUMAN.**

Chat with Total in TWO nights from 6:00 to 7:30! Don't miss it! Who's participating?

Nudge

_(show all 17 comments)_

TheDramaLlama: I'm going! I already have several questions planned out…

ILuvFang: I'm participating.

Wishing4Wings: Oh yeah… get ready Total I'm getting lots of stuff ready for you;)

…

Chat with Total tomorrow! It starts at six. Anyone excited?

Nudge

_(show all 15 comments)_

TheDramaLlama: Ooh, Ooh, me!

Flock101: I'm excited.

EagleEyes: Absolutely!

…

You can chat with Total tonight from 6:00 to 7:30. Don't forget!

Nudge

_(show all 20 comments)_

Jess: I was grounded for the past two days for trying to fly out a window with a pair of makeshift wings. I got caught before I could try though… I guess I'll never join the flock Anyway, I got my computer taken away, but I have it back now and will most definitely be on tonight for Total's chat!

Wishing4Wings: I'm actually counting the seconds…

Flock101: Yay! XD

…

I watched Nudge log off of Fang's blog after posting the last reminder for Total's chat tonight. Seeing the amount of bloggers who were actually going to be attending the event, I was already starting to regret approving Nudge's plan. I had once again underestimated the power of Fang's blog. Jeez that thing had a lot of followers!

"Max," Fang said. "You need to work on controlling your body language. I can practically read your mind right now." I cringed when I realized I was making faces to go along with my thoughts. Fang smirked.

"You sure you're not just developing more powers?" I countered.

"Positive," he replied. "We definitely don't need another mind-reader."

"Got that right," I replied absently, going back to my previous thoughts. This time, however, I was careful to keep my face expressionless. I had a feeling of dread I couldn't shake about tonight's 'Chat with Total'. It was probably just my normal paranoia, but still…

"Hey Nudge! Are you sure the computer's firewalls are strong enough to keep any unwanted guests out?"

"Yeah, absolutely," she answered, looking up from whatever it was she was doing on the laptop. "I'm adding more protection right now just to be sure." Oh, that's what she was doing. "I'm also watching a really cute cat video on YouTube. It's adorable! The cat is…" I tuned out the rest of her rant on the cuteness factor of kittens. I went into the kitchen to get motherly advice and a cookie. Well, mostly for a cookie. My mom just happened to be in there and ready to impart some wisdom.

"Max, I can tell something's bothering you. Is it the chat with Total thing that's happening tonight?" Fang was right: I really DO need to work on controlling my body language. I've been getting soft. Not being kidnapped or interrogated for a few months had really taken a toll on my self-control.

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked, grabbing a cookie.

"A little," she replied. "You just need to relax. One little chat can't do that much harm, can it? You also need to remember Nudge is a master hacker. She knows all the tricks to keep you guys anonymous. That high-tech computer you have helps too."

"Igesho,"I answered, with my mouth full of cookie.

"What?"

I swallowed the bite of cookie I had just taken and then repeated myself. "I guess so."

My mom rolled her eyes, and handed me another cookie. We almost had a full mother/daughter talk. It was ALMOST a normal-human-girl-moment. But, of course, my life is so far from normal that actually having a 'normal' moment would probably scare me worse than any Eraser attack. Anyway, Iggy and Gazzy decided to ruin the moment by sliding into the kitchen wearing some ski masks they found shouting, "WE ARE THE COOKIE NINJAS!" When Gazzy noticed me and my mom staring at him and Iggy, he nudged Iggy.

"I thought your Intel said that she was out of the house today."

"She WAS," Iggy whispered back. "She must have changed her plans."

"I'm standing right here," I said annoyed that a rare normal moment had been ruined by the flock's two pyros. "Do you care to explain to me exactly WHY you felt it necessary run in here screaming 'cookie ninjas'?" The two could most likely see I was really angry, so they opted to tell the truth. Good for them.

"We thought you would be at the mall today with Ella, so we decided to grab cookies while you weren't here. The 'cookie ninja' thing was just a little fun we decided to add to it. It would've worked if it weren't for SOMEONE giving me the wrong information," explained Gazzy.

"My Intel came strait from a reliable source," said Iggy, irritated that Gazzy was blaming HIM for their plan going wrong.

"Oh? Exactly-" I cut Gazzy off mid-argument.

"It was BOTH of your faults. You shouldn't have tried to go behind my back AGAIN. Luckily for you, I actually have something that needs doing that YOU can do for me." At this point my voice had gone ice cold. "Total has requested that he gets a spa treatment in preparation for his chat tonight. I had originally said no. Luckily for him, you two have so graciously volunteered to follow his every order in order for him to feel handsome."

"But Maax. It's an INTERNET chat. No one will even SEE him!" protested Gazzy. Iggy had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

"Do you think it makes a difference to Total?" I asked. "Go upstairs and get started. I'm sure there's a lot to get done before tonight." Gazzy opened his mouth to protest again, but thought better of it. The two went upstairs to attend to Total.

"Mom," I said. "Make sure none of the Flock get any cookies while Ella and I are gone. We'll be back sometime before six."

"Sure. Have fun!" my mom replied. I went to go retrieve Ella, and we walked to the mall.

…

Gazzy was furious at his best friend. He had trusted Iggy to get reliable information on how to get some chocolate chip cookies while Max was gone. Now they were stuck pampering Total. He and Iggy walked up to Total's room and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Total.

"It's the pampering squad," replied Iggy, frowning.

"Oh, Max finally approved my request? Do come in," said Total, pompously. The two boys walked into the room. "Alright. Now that you're both here, we have lots of work to do. I took the liberty of having Angel type out a list of my requests. Here." Total tossed the list to Gazzy.

Gazzy looked at it. "Really, Total?"

Iggy got an irritated expression on his face. "What does it say?" he asked.

"Oh, right. It says:

Bathe me. (don't forget to use the strawberry shampoo!)

Blow-dry and brush my fur. (I'm sensitive, so don't pull too hard.)

Trim and file my nails.

Help me put on my bowtie." explained Gazzy.

"Great," said Iggy sarcastically. "Let's get started." The two cookie ninjas took Total to the bathroom down the hall to begin his improvised spa experience.

…

"Ella! You liar! You said we were going to Dairy Queen to get blizzards, not going shopping for clothes!" I hissed in the middle of Macys. She turned to me holding up a green dress. Don't ask for a more detailed explanation. I'm useless in this 'fashion' stuff.

"What do you think?" she asked, completely ignoring my whining.

"It looks like a green dress," I replied impatiently. "When are we going to get these 'blizzards' that you said, and I quote, are 'a necessary part of human existence to taste'?" I asked.

"Yeesh! Calm down Max! I just need to pick out a dress for a party I'm going to next week, and THEN we can get blizzards. We could leave a whole lot faster if you'd just help me pick out a dress."

I rolled my eyes, plunged my arm into a random rack of dresses, and pulled one out. "How about this one?" I asked. Ella looked at the dress, and then looked at me.

"It's perfect!" she said. "It's not too dressy, but not too casual, and I have a pair of shoes that match it perfectly!" I peered at the red dress, and tried to see what she was talking about, but my effort was a waste of time. I have absolutely no fashion knowledge. Sure I know over thirty different ways to kill an Eraser, but when it comes to clothes I know nothing. Ella was happy though, and we were leaving the store to go get blizzards. That was all that mattered.

…

"Remember: I only take baths in water exactly 85 F," Total instructed Gazzy and Iggy. "If you're not sure, there's a thermometer in the kitchen."

Iggy turned to Gazzy. "I'll make sure the water doesn't get too high. You go get the thermometer."

Gazzy saluted, and then realized it was pointless. He settled for a sarcastic, "Yes sir."

"I don't want to be doing this either, but I'd rather be a dog pamperer than get killed by Max," Iggy replied. Gazzy couldn't argue with Iggy's logic. He was starting to understand Max's sincere hatred for logic. He ran down to the kitchen to get the thermometer. When he arrived back upstairs the tub was full. He stuck the thermometer in the water, and was relieved when it said the water was exactly the right temperature.

"Throw him in Iggy," he ordered. Iggy got a malicious grin on his face, and before Total could protest, plopped the dog into the bathtub. Total came up sputtering.

"How DARE you throw me into the bath like that!" he exclaimed. "That was just plain RUDE. If you EVER-" Gazzy promptly pushed the dog under again to spare him and Iggy from further dramatic comments. When Total came up the second tome, he was intelligent enough to keep his mouth shut. Gazzy grabbed the strawberry shampoo (as per the list's instructions) and started to scrub Total. Iggy then got the job of dunking the dog again to rinse the shampoo out. At Total's instruction, the two repeated the process to make sure he was squeaky clean.

Gazzy and Iggy plucked Total out of the tub and dried him off with fluffy towels. The first chore was checked off the list. The next thing on the list was to blow-dry and brush Total's fur. "What's a 'blow dryer'?" asked Gazzy.

Iggy shrugged. "I have no idea. Go ask Nudge." Gazzy ran downstairs for the second time that afternoon.

"NUDGE! I NEED YOUR HELP!" Gazzy shouted, after a few seconds of looking for her.

"I'm right here. Quit yelling. What do you need my help with? You usually ask Iggy or Max. This is actually kinda flattering. Do you really prefer my help now? 'Cause that's-"

"What's a blow dryer, and where can I find one?" Gazzy interrupted.

Nudge giggled. "Why do YOU need a blow dryer? You're a boy!" She started to giggle again, and after she controlled herself, she continued. "A blow dryer is a tool you use to dry your hair. It blows hot air and that dries hair faster than a towel. There's one in Dr. Martinez's bathroom."

"Right, Thanks." Gazzy went to go back upstairs, and then turned around. "What does it look like?"

Nudge rolled her eyes. "To put it in boy terms, it looks like a ray gun."

"Cool!" Gazzy ran back upstairs. He found the hair dryer fairly quickly with Nudge's description to go on. He walked back into the bathroom where Total and Iggy were waiting, and held the device above his head triumphantly. "The dryer has been found!"

"Finally," said Total. " I was beginning to think you'd NEVER return!"  
"Way to ruin the moment Total," said Iggy. He turned to address Gazzy. "Wanna plug it in genius? Or are you just gonna stand there waving it around?" Gazzy sighed, his moment of glory over, and went to plug in the blow dryer.

"Total! Get your furry butt over here so I can dry you off."

"I don't get to help? My heart is broken," said Iggy, dryly. Gazzy stuck his tongue out, and began to carefully brush and dry the dramatic dog's fur.

"We're only half done? Drat. I was hoping we'd spend all week on this. I'm so disappointed," said Gazzy sarcastically.

"Gazzy! I'm so proud of you! You've earned a blue belt in sarcasm!" said Iggy, smirking.

…

I was stoked. Ella and I had finally left Macys. It was time for me to taste my first blizzard. It was kind of a weird thing to get excited over, but I hadn't had normal ice cream in a little over a year, and Ella had said that blizzards were at least three times as good as ice cream. So, yeah, I was a little excited. No matter what anyone else says, I was absolutely NOT skipping around in anticipation of my frosty treat.

"Max, quit skipping. People are staring," Ella said, laughing. Well, maybe I was skipping a little. "There," she said, pointing at a small shop in the corner of the mall. "That's the Dairy Queen. Are you ready for your first blizzard?" I nodded absently. I was too absorbed in looking at all the flavors to choose from to pay much attention to what my sister was saying. We walked up to the counter to order.

"Hello, welcome to Dairy Queen. What can I get for you today?" the girl behind the counter asked.

"I'd like a small Hawaiian blizzard. Max? What do you want?" I was still staring at all of the flavors and was too engrossed in looking at the flavors to register what she was saying. "Max!" she punched my arm. Well. That got my attention.

"What!?" I snapped at her. She pointed at the girl behind the counter. She looked borderline annoyed at me. "Oh, right. Um, can I have a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough blizzard in whatever the biggest size you have is? The girl gawked at me, but made our orders. It was my turn to stare: when she was done, she turned our blizzards upside down… and they didn't fall out! I was pretty impressed. Ella paid, and we walked away from the store and sat down at a nearby bench.

"I'm SHOCKED you chose the chocolate chip cookie dough one."  
I didn't retaliate to her sarcasm because I was too busy inhaling my blizzard. "This. Is. So. Good," I said. Ella laughed at me, and began to eat her blizzard too. This was officially the best day of my life. I LOVE blizzards.

…

"The nail clippers are in my suitcase," said Total. "The nail file is in there too. Chop, chop: We only have an hour until the chat." Gazzy retrieved the manicure (or was it pedicure? What are dog paws called?) kit, and got to work on Total's nails. After he had finished the front two paws, he shoved the tools into Iggy's hands.

"Your turn," Gazzy said. Total's eyes widened.

"You're not going to let HIM do my nails, right!? He can't see what he's doing! He's going to kill me!" Total was panicking by now.

"Wow. You have so little faith in me," said Iggy. The blind pyro/chef then proceeded to snip and file Total's nails perfectly. Total's jaw dropped. "How'd I do?"

The dog twisted around to look at his back paws. "They look amazing!" he said. "How'd you do it?"

"Trade secret," Iggy replied, smirking. "Where's your bowtie?" Total- still awestruck- trotted over to his bag and pulled out a little black bowtie. He walked back over to Iggy, and dropped it in his lap. Iggy tied it around Total's neck. Gazzy held out a mirror for Total to inspect himself.

"I look good," Total said. "Really good. I look better than one of those dog show dogs. TAKE THAT PUREBREDS! THIS MUTT LOOKS BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU COMBINED! Thanks for helping me guys."

"No problem."

"I didn't think you'd say thanks… have you been abducted by aliens?"

"Don't push it Gazzy," said Total. "And Iggy: you just might actually have manners. I'm impressed. I am ready for the questions!"

…

When Ella and I finished our blizzards, we headed home. It was only a ten-minute walk, so we arrived home just before Total's chat was about to begin. Total strutted down the stairs like he was some kind of movie star. Iggy and Gazzy flanked him. When Gazzy spotted me he gave me a glare that said, 'Prepare to have all of your favorite things blown up'. I gave him a jaunty wave in reply.

"I am ready for my chat!" announced Total. He trotted over to the computer where Angel was sitting. Fang's blog was pulled up on the screen, and ready for the little mind reader to start typing. The chat starts… now.

Live chat with Total starts now!

Angel

TheDramaLlama: What are your views on cats?

Total: I find cats very irritating. They think they're SO much better than us dogs. They are smug little brats…

ILuvFang: Do you like Black Labs?

Total: I don't really have and opinion on them. I like them okay if they aren't show dogs. They're a lot bigger than me though.

Wishing4Wings: Do the other flock members treat you differently just because you're a dog?

Total: I suppose… there are certain allowances they have to make because of the fact that I am a dog, but they are very polite about it. Iggy and Gazzy make fun of me because they think I'm too 'dramatic' but the rest of the flock is very nice to me.

Flock101: Do you prefer to spend time with humans or other dogs?

Total: I love the flock like a family, and I love to spend time with them. I also love to spend time with Akila. However, I don't get along well with most normal humans and dogs. With normal humans I'm usually not allowed to talk, and I don't relate to other dogs all that well.

EagleEyes: What breed of dog are you?

Total: I'm a mix of several things; I'm not really sure what exact breed I am.

Jess: Wow Total, you seem to be really popular. What do you think about your newfound popularity?

Total: Nice to hear from you again Jess. I feel a lot like a movie star. It was a little overwhelming at first, but I think I'm adjusting to being a celebrity quite well. I'm trying not to get a big head about it.

Flock101: Are you an artist?

Total: Unfortunately, I am a dog, and cannot draw. I am, however, an artist of the tongue. I can speak art! At least _I_ think I can. The rest of the flock disagrees.

TheDramaLlama: Do you often feel dramatic?

Total: I am a dramatic soul. I live and breathe for the dramatic arts.

EagleEyes: Do you prefer steak or ham?

Total: Steak. It is a much grander meat.

Wishing4Wings: Are you jealous of the flock's big, beautiful wings?

Total: What do you think my wings are? Ugly!? I'll have you know that my wings are stunning. STUNNING!

ILuvFang: Do you have a crush on any celebrities?

Total: Of course not! I am completely devoted to Akila. Although Dianna Agron is pretty…

ILuvFang: You watch Glee!?

Total: Ummmmm…

Jess: Do you have any tips on how to explain to your mother that you're chatting with a flying, talking DOG?

Total: While I pride myself on my creativity, I have no solution to your dilemma.

A crash rang through the room, interrupting Total's chat.

"Seriously!" shouted Total. "I can't get ONE HOUR AND A HALF without an Eraser attack!?" The rest of the flock went into auto-attack… well, until Jeb walked in with a freeze ray or something to stop us in our tracks. I hate him.

"Max, Max, Max," said Jeb. "Did I not teach you anything? NEVER give out information to an unknown source. I thought you knew better." I growled. "Did you not even think for a second that we would find you this way? I'm disappointed." He grinned. "Since you failed this little test, I'm afraid you need a little punishment. Erasers! I think these experiments need to suffer the repercussions of their stupidity. Attack." We were suddenly unfrozen. I looked around the room. There were a LOT of Erasers. This was gonna take a while… a long, bloody while…

**The end! Or is it... I'm thinking of ending it here. If everyone REALLY wants another chapter, then I'll write one, but technically I finished the plot. I'm not opposed to writing another chapter though. What do you think? Review and tell me!**


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